The Lord has been showing me something really important and the Easter season is the perfect time to share it with you.  It's the final piece in a puzzle I've been laboring over: What it means . . . I mean, what it really looks like . . .

Dying to self.

I know it's important.  It's critical!  It's everything.  But I've been running laps around "what that looks like".  Maybe you can relate: I have to know how to "DO" a thing, or at least be clear about what my job is if it isn't a "doing" kind of thing.  Maybe it's just "being" instead or waiting on the Lord or maybe I have to try to . . . ?  Ugh.  In the midst of all the other debris floating around in my heart and mind lately, I was having a terrible time getting a lock on "what that looks like" in my life.  I mean, I get the general idea, but on a Monday afternoon with the monotony and a migraine and yet another misunderstanding?  Then I don't "get it" so much.  I have been feeling pretty killed and I'm pretty sure a thing can only be so dead.  Yes, well, God is showing me that there is more than one kind of "dead" and I get to choose which kind I'm going to be. 

When I mulled this over with a great mentor one evening, she said that being "killed" means there's nothing left in a thing (or a heart?) whereas being "dead to myself" also means being alive to Christ.  Aha!  So it's the difference between having "nothing left" and having "absolutely everything available".  I totally understand that!  That's where the three different powers in Ephesians 6:10 come in - and that is exciting!

But how?

Because did I mention I'm feeling pretty killed?  Does being dead to myself mean I don't care about anything?  It doesn't matter that I'm killed?  I don't care what happens?  I don't have an opinion?  She said, "Of course you care.  You care more than before, but you care about what God cares about!"  Yes.  Nice!  Thank you!  That makes so much sense. 

But how?

What does that "look like"?  What is the mysterious mechanism for moving from where I am in the land of Twisted-Up-Angry-Knots to the land of godliness, freedom, and joy?  How does a broken heart put skin on that?

Well, in His gentle goodness and perfect timing, God showed me the answer.  I don't even remember when or how the Holy Spirit eased it onto the screen of my mind but there it was; Jan Karon calls it "the prayer that never fails".  Jesus has already shown me "what that looks like", I had just forgotten!  It's in the five little words that changed the world forever:

Not. My. Will. But. Yours.

That's the magic.  That's the mechanism.  That's the miracle of moving from "Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me," . . . to Calvary and Resurrection and Eternal Glory - (not just for Himself but for me)! 

So now I will pray, "Lord, here's my thing (insert brokenness, hopes, desires here), nevertheless, not my will but yours be done."  And so then: humility.  And healing.  And hope!

It was Humility that was obedient "even to death on a cross", and that's what it looks like with skin on.  There is sometimes an anguish of actually caring quite a bit and wishing it was different and pleading with the Father to make it different . . . but if there is ultimately surrender and humility and obedience, then the Triumph will always follow.  I pray that by God's grace He will help me live this out in my home. 

And maybe it will change the world . . .

When I think of a wellspring, I think of water, don't you?

I think of lots and lots of clean, fresh, running water - not just a well, but a spring, rushing, flowing, gurgling, dancing up over the top and spilling down the edges.  Water, not just available, but springing up and bubbling pure and can't you just hear children squealing with delight as they splash in the life-giving water?

The Lord laid it on my heart to name this blog Wellspring of Grace, and I'm so grateful for what He chose.

When I looked up the word, this is what I found: wellspring /wel, spring/ noun - an original and bountiful source of something.

Isn't that perfect?!?!?! 

Water is life.  Without it, we could not survive more than a handful of days.  Not getting enough water leaves us feeling sluggish, tired, dried up and dried out; feeling sick and more likely to actually get sick.  The lips chap.  The skin peels.  The muscles cramp.  The tongue cleaves.  Without water, we would perish.

I love the way Jesus refers to Himself as Water we can drink.  He told the woman at the well, "...whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst.  Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."  (John 4:14)  A wellspring we can drink right up into our parched and weary souls . . .

He said another time, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink.  Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."  (John 7:37-38)

So it is too then that without Jesus, we would perish. (John 3:16)  He is our original, bountiful Source of Living Water and it is available to us because of grace: /grays/ noun - the free and unmerited favor of God.  When we believe in Him, we will have eternal life and streams of this living water will flow from within us too!  All of this is given freely in abundance though it is beyond us and completely undeserved.  Grace.

I pray Wellspring of Grace will be a place you can come to be refreshed by the bubbling up, bountiful grace of Jesus Christ.  Be encouraged, be inspired, be cooled and washed clean and above all, be filled with the matchless grace that Jesus longs to pour out on your soul. May it not just be available, but I pray it will spring up, spilling over, and may the grateful sounds of relief and delight be our own.

Welcome to Wellspring of Grace.